


Good Gracious

by keyboardclicks



Category: Raffles - E. W. Hornung
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, commission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 17:28:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12611680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keyboardclicks/pseuds/keyboardclicks
Summary: The ladies attend a ball.  Thievery occurs, and Bunny feels a bit faint.





	Good Gracious

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stickerbuccaneer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stickerbuccaneer/gifts).



“My darling girl, you’re positively beaming.  Do tell me why you’re looking at me as if I’ve performed a miracle; I’m incredibly interested.”

I laughed behind my fan, using it to cool myself in the oppressive heat of room.  AJ had just rejoined me from the dance floor, having completed a lovely waltz with a very unlovely gentleman whose name I didn’t remember.  Feeling stifled, I had remained away from the action for some time, choosing instead to watch my friend from afar and sip the bubbly, golden champagne.  

“Was I smiling?  It’s only that you’re such a talented dancer, AJ, you were so graceful!  Nobody could miss you if they tried.”

“I suspect that’s because I’m rather above everyone’s heads,” she laughed, beginning to fan herself.  “A woman of my stature rather stands out.  Are you still feeling faint, my dear?  Come; what’s say we sit in the garden a while?  It’s dreadfully hot in here, and I don’t very much feel like being asked to dance again.”

“Nor I,” I agreed.  A gentleman who had obviously been planning to do just that and who had been approaching my friend from behind frowned, changing paths to instead walk towards a plain-looking young lady in the corner.  The man had a mustache which did not suit his face and I hoped the girl would have the good sense to turn him down.

Arm in arm AJ lead me outside where the silent, moonlit garden was cool and refreshing.  We sat ourselves atop a low stone wall, content to be in the quiet with the music and chatter of the party muffled in the distance.  Since no others were around to stop her, AJ lit a cigarette.

“Are you having a good time, Bun?” she asked, quite out of the blue.

“A good time, AJ?  I’d say so.  It’s no more or less pleasant than any other ball, I suppose.  Everyone seems more interested in you than me, but that’s only to be expected.”

“Are you sure?  You looked rather sour when the Marquess was speaking to you.”

“That’s because he bored me,” I answered plainly.  Raffles offered me her cigarette with raised eyebrows.  I declined in favor of my champaign.  “He was going on and on about his son; I suspect he’s trying to marry him off to every eligible woman he sees.  Well, little does he know that I’m quite  _ in _ eligible, and I would have told him as much if I’d been able.”

AJ’s laugh rang clear and loud through the garden, even managing to scare a few birds from a nearby tree.  Not appreciating being laughed at I clenched my teeth and felt a blush begin to creep up my neck.

“Why Harriette, you old spinster!  Can’t you stand to entertain a gentleman for even five minutes?  They aren’t always such terrible company.”

“I see no reason that I should; I’ve no interest in them.  Besides that who are you to lecture me?  You turn away men left and right when they have no interest to you.”

She blew a bit of smoke and tapped the end of her cigarette.  “But I am always pleasant, my little rabbit, always pleasant.  I give them a smile or a curtsey or a laugh and no matter what I say they think me the most charming woman in the room.  Not to mention that those men all  _ do  _ have a particular interest to me in the form of their watches and chains, cufflinks, brooches, and rings!”

“AJ, shhhh!”  But it was no use; her gay and merry laughter rang out across the quiet garden and left me unable to hold back a few reluctant titters in her wake.

“You  _ are  _ the most charming woman in the room,” I said once we’d quieted.  “Constantly; surely you must realize it.  Nobody can ever look away from you.”

“I’ve certainly noticed  _ your  _ staring habit,” she teased, blue smoke curling around her face like her ringlets of black hair.  “I do say, if the gentleman could be bothered to think for a moment they’d put two and two together and understand why you are so constantly disinterested in them.  Luckily, I must say, most of them are too dense to realize a thing.”

I laughed again.  It always entertained me to hear my friend’s opinion on the un-fair sex, for it was like nothing I’d ever heard from another proper society woman.  All those who I had known before her were devoted to their husbands before they were even married, doing all they could to prepare to be the perfect wife.  But even in girlhood AJ had been a bit different, and I saw now where her stubbornness had lead her.

“Are you sure you don’t want one, Bunny?  I’ll likely be heading back inside after I finish this.”  She held out to me her silver cigarette case, opened to reveal the rows of rolled tobacco.  I considered taking one of the smaller ones, but stopped.

“Where did you get that, Raffles?”

“This?  Can’t hardly remember, dear girl. It may have been a gift at one point or another...”

“No, I mean, where did you get it  _ right now? _ ”  It hadn’t dawned on me that there was no logical place for AJ to have gotten her cigarette until seeming to produce the case out of thin air.  I’d heard that some women hid things up the sleeves of their dresses, but AJ was wearing a spring gown with sleeves that only reached her elbows; there was no way to hide something there.

A look of genuine surprise stole over her face.  “Oh, did I not tell you?  Look here, see?”

At first the only things I saw were the folds and lace of her skirt, but then noticed where the fabric parted unnaturally as she fiddled with it.  My confusion lifted when I remembered how the dress she had been wearing the night of our first robbery was outfitted similarly.

“Most of my gowns have pockets,” she announced at seeing my wondrous face, slipping her cigarette case back into hiding.  “I’m quite a useful seamstress, and good thing!  I’ve come to absolutely depend on these things, Bunny!  They’re so useful, even outside of a robbery.  I can see why a gentleman’s coat has so many of them!”

For a moment I looked at her in simple wonder.  It seemed that I learned something new about my friend each and every day I was in her presence and I wondered how many more little secrets she had for me to uncover.  My gaze turned upwards and I appreciated the few stars not hidden beneath the blanket of clouds as they twinkled against the velvet of the night sky.  A warm hand slid atop mine.

“I’m glad you came with me tonight, Bunny,” said AJ once I looked back to her.  Her smile was the gentle sort she rarely used, the kind where she showed no teeth and her features all seemed to soften, even her eyes.  I could count on one hand the number of times I’d seen that smile, and on its twin the equal number of times it had succeeded in completely disarming me.

“I’m glad too, AJ.”

“Even if the gentleman are bothering you?”

“They always bother me.  It’s no reason not to enjoy the night, especially such a lovely one and  _ especially _ while I’m spending it with you.”

AJ’s cheeks pinkened as she leaned in to kiss me, laying a hand on the back of my neck.  She warmed me where I had begun to grow chilly from the night air, a series of goose pimples rising on the exposed skin of my arms.

“Perhaps we’d better get back inside before I’m missed too much,” she smiled, and although she seemed to be joking to save me embarrassment, I couldn’t help but agree.  Any party which AJ Raffles attended and then subsequently left became more boring and dull than I have words to describe, and while I was certainly enjoying our time alone sooner or later someone would come out looking for her and spoil the whole thing.  

“By the way,” began AJ as we found ourselves back amongst the throngs of people, “there’s a gentleman with a yellow carnation in his buttonhole who I think was rather interested in sharing a dance with you, my little rabbit.”

“I’m rather tired of dancing…”

“Well, that’s rather amazing considering you’ve only waltzed once since we’ve arrived.  Oh don’t give me that look.  Come now!  We’re at a dance, so we should dance!  Then tonight when we retire to my flat you can tell me all about how horrible and rude the men were and how they stepped on all your little toes and tried to call it dancing.”

If it was possible to frown harder, that’s exactly what I did.  But my friend only chuckled and placed a friendly kiss on my cheek before sliding her arm away from mine.  Immediately an older gentleman with a receding hairline and no business attempting to be so friendly with someone as lovely as my AJ stepped in and asked her for a dance, which she graciously accepted.  I stared daggers into his back as they made their way towards the other dancing couples, AJ turning and giving me a look that I understood to mean, “Go on, then.”

So on I went, over to the nearest servant to take another flute of champagne and stand by the wall to drink it.  It would have been easy to down its entire contents but for the pretense of appearing civilized I sipped slowly.  Only a fourth of the glass had been drained with a man with a familiarly unfitting mustache walked up to me, offering what suppose was meant to be a pleasant smile.  There was a yellow carnation in his buttonhole.

“Good evening,” he said, prostrating himself into an uncomfortable seeming bow.  I curtseyed in return, but was most concerned with not spilling my drink.

“Good evening, sir.  You’re Baron Briarthorn, aren’t you?  My friend was just telling me about you.”

“I am,” he continued to smile.  There was a bit of something stuck in his teeth; it shifted every time he spoke and was incredibly distracting.  “And you’re Miss Manders.  Forgive me, but I’ve been attempting to catch your eye all evening.  I was hoping you would do me the honor of a dance?  Unless of course your card happens to be full.”

Oh how I wished that to be the case.  For a moment I considered saying I felt ill, but thought it unwise as it may have attracted incredibly unwanted attention and been more unbearable than just suffering through a dance.  So I smiled and set down my glass, offering another more proper curtsey.

“Of course, sir.  I’d be delighted.”

Anyone who knew me could have told you that I was blatantly lying, for I am not a good liar.  But the Baron either did not notice this or chose to ignore it and as the music for the next dance began I found myself being lead to join the mass of suits and colorful gowns all gliding in unison.  I did not expect much from the Baron’s dancing but admit I was pleasantly surprised; he was light on his feet and did not once step on my toes.  What was excruciating was his conversation skills, which was to say he possessed none.  He talked on and on about himself during the entire dance, obviously looking to impress me and failing miserably in the same vain.  As etiquette dictated I nodded and smiled and did my very best to seem interested but it was not an easy task.  I focused on the  _ one-two-three one-two-three  _ and appropriate turns of my feet, my glassy and unfocused stare vehemently attempting to remain on his face.

“How are you enjoying the party?”

It was the first true question directed at me since the dance started.  I fumbled for a response.

“Oh, it's quite lovely.  AJ and I went into the garden earlier to enjoy the flowers.”

“Oh, there are such lovely blooms this time of year.”

_ I enjoy her company more than the flowers,  _ I wanted to say, but instead I just nodded.  “Yes, you’re quite right.”

The Baron’s hand, which was resting appropriately against the back of my waist, slowly ran up my back and brushed against the nape of my neck.  Unsure of what was happening let alone how to respond to it, I froze.  “Perhaps the two of us can step back into the garden after this dance?  I confess I don't know much about flowers but I'd love for you to educate me.”

“Wha-”

His fingers against the small bit of my bare skin startled me so much I forgot that I was dancing and stumbled backwards, failing to catch myself but luckily stopped by the back of someone with far greater balance.  Turning to apologize I found that, thank the gods, it was AJ.  She turned from her dance partner to look at me with concern.

“Had a bit of a slip up there, Bunny?”  

But before I could answer her eyes went suddenly round.  “Bunny, weren’t you wearing a necklace?”

My hand went up to search my collarbone, but found nothing there.  I then looked around the bottom of my feet, thinking that perhaps it had dropped while I was dancing, but saw nothing and felt a sudden panic rise within me.  The strange moment with Baron Briarthorn was nothing compared to this sort of violation.

“Goodness, you don’t think it’s been stolen, do you?” AJ asked, her voice perhaps a bit too loud as she ushered me away from the dance floor.

“Stolen?” asked a man with a mole near his lip.  “Something’s been stolen?”

“My friend’s necklace.  She was wearing it not fifteen minutes ago when we went to the garden for some fresh air and now it’s gone!  Someone must have taken it!”

Then the panic began.  There was a discontent murmur as gentlemen checked their pockets and ladies their jewelry.  I tried not to cry at being made a spectacle of and clung nervously to my friend’s arm.  I never did like being the center of attention.  The man with the mole asked if it’s possible the necklace fell of while we were in the garden, but Raffles responded that she was watching me the whole time and knows it absolutely did not.  Soon cries of, “My ring is gone!” and “My broach!  It’s missing!” and “We’ve been robbed!  Thief!” filled the large ballroom, occupying every empty space with confusion and fear.  Feeling myself begin to grow faint I gripped AJ’s arm tightly and put my weight on her.  Immediately she fretted over me, fanning my face and leading me over to a side room away from the crowd where there is a chaise lounge I could lay upon.

“Oh, you poor rabbit,” she cooed, running cool fingertips over my forehead.  “This must be such a shock to you.  A thief at a party like this…”

A thief at a party like this, indeed!  I thought of us, AJ and I, and how not so long ago we were thieves no better than whoever had stolen my necklace.  To me, it seemed like retribution for the crime, but in my state of shock I was unable to voice it.

She got me some water, which aided the stopping of my spinning head, then stayed by my side fanning me and brushing my fringe from before my eyes.  She takes my hand in hers and assures me that the police will be here soon and surely they’ll find the culprit.  “No need to worry, darling rabbit, your necklace shall be returned to you safe and sound, I’m sure of it.”

“Oh AJ… I just feel so awful…”

“I know, my girl, but it will be alright.”

How my friend could be so calm I could not understand, but still I admired her for it.  Her hands are steady and calm and skin cool against the fever of my hysteria, and admittedly I quite enjoyed having all of her attention.  Perhaps I would have to feel faint more often.

When the police arrived and searched the pockets of every coat and pair of trousers they could find but turned up nothing, saying the perpetrator must have escaped during all the commotion, AJ called us a hansom and ushered me inside saying we would not stay at a party which had been so poorly protected.  From what I saw, other victims were similarly upset, and there was quite a rush to leave the manor.

“You know, I think it was that Baron Briarthorn,” I confided once we had started home.  “While we were dancing I felt his hand touch the back of my neck; it startled me and that’s why I stumbled back into you.  I bet he was undoing the clasp of my necklace, the blackguard!”

But Raffles only laughed, any feelings of indignance apparently washed away.  “Oh you simple rabbit,” she giggled.  “Did you really not catch on?   _ Really?   _ Well, there’s no use in continuing play; I suppose I should return this to you.”

Then she produced, from the pocket of her gown, my diamond necklace with not a jewel out of place.  In an instant I understood everything; her insistence on dancing with every man who asked, the extreme usefulness of her pockets, and how she had removed my necklace while kissing me in the garden.  I felt my cheeks, then my whole face turn a brilliant scarlet.

“You bully!” I accused  “Letting me think it really had been stolen when you saw how distressed I was, how horrible!”

AJ reached and placed her hands on mine.  “But my dear little Bunny, it was your reaction that made the whole thing so convincing!  All that swooning and shaking, absolutely inspired!  Nobody would ever suspect us.”

“Nobody would have suspected us regardless,” I groused, feeling quite humiliated that I had been used so.  “It’s not as if any proper man would ask to check a lady’s gown for stolen goods.”

“Perhaps not, but one cannot be too careful.  Who’s to say all those men whom I charmed tonight wouldn’t come together and realize that I was a common thread?  But if my faithful companion had been so convincingly in despair, they would shun any idea of me being responsible.  Come on, cheer up!”

I didn’t.  I just stared down at the necklace in my hand with a pout.  “I rather liked this one, too.  Now I shan’t be able to wear it out in public; it’s been “stolen”, after all.”

A warm chuckle from the other side of the carriage was her first response, followed by, “Well, then what’s say I sell it off with the rest of them and buy you a brand new one?  And a set of earrings to match?  Something with rubies would look so fetching on you.”

Valiantly did I try to remain upset with her, as I rightly should have been!  But the warmth in AJ’s eyes and smile melted the ice around my heart and in an instant I was again all smiles.  “I think then I could forgive your little trick.”

She laughed, pulling from her pocket someone’s watch and chain to quickly check the time.  “The night is still young, my little rabbit.  What’s say you and I return to my flat and relax with some tea?  I insist you stay the night.”


End file.
